(: welcome : )

272CCCB4-E00F-4758-B988-CB277E8CB9EDHi! I’m Candace
I’m a 30-something North Dallas wife and mom.
I love music, live theater, at home fitness & SHENANIGANS!!

This blog is the story of me.
It is also a creative roadmap for me.
Thanks to my spotty brain, there are days where the stories
I’m writing to you now, about the past, will be new to me then.

My “spotty brain” is a reference to my Multiple Sclerosis.
Multiple Sclerosis is a neurological autoimmune disease.
My immune system attacks itself.
Yes, it’s that stupid.

Look around and find out more
: P

There are so many stories and experiences that have come from this disease! Some of them are heart-warming, some are a little sad, MOST of them have a humorous undertone and little bits of motivation that help get me through the tough stuff.

Being a human is so strange.
Being this human is strange & silly & awesome!

The Princess that was Promised

My husband and I didn’t really get a chance to want babies
before we were told I couldn’t have them.
My body was taking a vaca from what it was built to do.
… my body is obnoxiously consistent with this …
Not following directions

My thyroid was a really big dill hole. Seriously.
And to be honest, A LOT of endocrinologists are too.
I’ve been through SO many endocrinologists.
My body has trouble absorbing Synthroid.
Synthoid is very commonly used to treat and regulate many
thyroid disorders. Something important that your
thyroid aids in is memory.

The Docs saw …
no thyroid & her levels are low …
Non-compliant patient
I thought I was just forgetting doses too.
Until we realized that the problem was the drug,
those (possibly) missed doses wouldn’t have helped.

A fall on the front porch helped us figure it out.
I stood up too fast & passed out.
My noggin needed a few stitches and we had questions.
Off to the ER …
The endocrinologist on call was willing to try something different.
After a strong dose of IV Synthroid didn’t change my levels, the doc had confirmation of a drug interaction problem, not patient compliance.

Because my thyroid was so off, my monthly cycle was irregular.
I’d sometimes go months with no cycle.
Get your hormones in check! FOR REAL!

My MS Specialist was really concerned with how aggressive my MS was & since I was not cycling regularly, with no real fear of getting pregnant, we removed birth control from my meds.
That was in the spring of 2003.

2 years later, in the front bathroom of my in-laws house, 2 positive pregnancy tests were staring up at me from the counter.

I’m the first of three girls, my spouse is the first of two boys.
We both have younger siblings. There is a 7 year gap between us and them.

The tiny human I just found out about
would be the first, the best & the MOST LOVED!
1st grandchild
1st nephew/niece
1st non-furry dependent

My MS did not interfere with my pregnancy. At all. I was lucky that it just took a step back. Pregnancy and Multiple Sclerosis can be easy or it can be devastating. Some women don’t discover MS until they are pregnant.

The tiny human that I get to raise is the
At 13, she is not a TINY HUMAN anymore.
She’s fierce & funny.

She tried to make her debut about 12 weeks early …
With bed rest, and then pelvic rest,
She made it to 36 weeks.
I was only in labor about 14 hours,
and the active labor lasted less than 15 minutes.
She came out healthy, happy and with a full head of hair.

I’m all in! for the *nth time!

There are handful of untitled docs in my google drive that say something like the statement below.
There are documents saved as early as 2006. They all share the same crazy drive and excitement. And then …
The spots on my brain did that. I forgot to go back and finish this thing I’m very passionate about.
I discovered all the google documents after a difficult conversation with my husband. He was reminding / revealing that I have been here MANY times over.
He has watched me go through this cycle over and over.
The statement below is the springboard that I will use to remind myself and show you where this started, where it is now and I can’t wait to see what a year from now looks like!
If I have a magic wand, next year, I will be a voice you want to hear! 🙂
I will do what my heart KNOWS!
I’m the best friend you haven’t met yet.
You can laugh with me, get your groove back and KILL IT!

I want to inspire, motivate and empower you and your people.
I have ZERO evidence to back this claim up. ZERO leadership training. ZERO college.
My husband and I used to joke that I was a “drama bomb magnet”.
When I am near people that are a little depleted and need extra care, they are drawn to me and me to them.
Sometimes they just need to get it off of their mind and I’m a sounding board..Sometimes they need to share the heaviness of the load they are carrying and I can help carry some of it or help them weed through it

For a while, I thought I was what has been trending lately … an empath
BUT, I don’t have super powers. It’s not supernatural.

There it is, a small statement that I will use to remind my spotty brain what I/YOU/WE CAN do!

Going from a 2 story townhouse to a renting a small bedroom from his Mom and Dad.

After the first hospitalization, we moved from our cute, two-story town house to a nice, 2 bedroom, bottom floor, apartment. We were in the bottom floor apartment for a about 9 months before my 2nd hospitalization. After my diagnosis, our income got cut in half, as well as our short run of independence.

My husband’s family opened up a spare bedroom for us to rent. Both of them enjoy cooking and it was always cool to learn different recipes from them. My brother-in-law was a teen and we got along fine. During our time living with them, we were able to save up money towards buying our first home.

We knew we wanted to buy a house in the same town we grew up in. It was a good school district, a safe town & both sets of first-time grandparents were already here. There are also 2 aunt’s and an uncle. Yup, grandparents!
While living with my in-laws, we created a human.
It wasn’t planned, but we were OVERJOYED!
I’ll tell you more about her is another story!

We also liked the extra assistance if my MS acted up. With a disease as unpredictable as MS, having a back-up plan is advised.

While sometimes I wish I had more time between HS and MS to experience life, I’m also VERY grateful to have had such a great support system available since the beginning.

My first year as a newlywed did not go as I had hoped or planned, it was a crash course on “in sickness and in health”. Both of us stand by those vows. 17 years in, we are still in it to win it!

Medical Stuffs … MS isn’t the only culprit

Whoever makes us … (insert your chosen diety here) … was distracted or under the influence of something when they threw me together.

I came out cross eyed … but they went out, not in. Like two lazy eyes. A few surgeries before I was 16 greatly improved my vision.
My baby feet were shaped funny, so I wore special shoes for a short time.
At 17, we found out my thyroid was WAY overactive. So they ablated it using radioiodine. (I swallowed a pill with a little radio-iodine that ate it away)

My joints are extra silly too. The ligaments are too long / loose.
We discovered the ligament issue while I was in surgery for my right knee to fix a strange dislocation problem.
Nah … the nook my kneecap is meant to lock into didn’t fully form.
My joints will always be loose, prone to roll or dislocate, taking a active role in my health allows me to prevent further injury.

He asked me those 4 little words …

3 months after I married my best friend and high school sweetheart, I started to feel slight numbness on my left side.
My walking also started to be a bit wobbly. I was captain Jack Sparrow, a little twirly and had my arms at my side to catch me.
After a co-worker suggested I see a doc, my husband and I decided to see how the weekend went. But, I didn’t really think I needed to.

I wasn’t bleeding, I didn’t have a fever & ER’s are expensive.
I was not sacrificing a weekend.
If I was still feeling off, I’d go see the doc on Monday … that was what sick time was for … duh
Again … I was 20 (eye roll)

The following Sunday, my hubby and I went car shopping. After visiting a few lots, we had mostly decided that we would be turning around to head home soon when I hear my husband ask …
    “Did you feel that?” <—– (THOSE 4 WORDS)
    “Feel what?” I answer
While I was staring out the window for the next dealership to possibly visit, my husband bit my hand.
There were cute little teeth indentations on the inside palm and back of my left hand.  
To this day, I’m still not sure if he was trying to call me out on the strangest call for attention ever or if he was trying to assess the situation.

Eventually, we went to the ER closest to our apartment and surrendered to the doctors …
That ER visit turned into 9 nights and 10 days. During those 10 days, I had several CT’s, my braces removed bedside, 4 sets of MRI’s, a spinal tap, as well as every pee test, blood test and cognitive function test known to man. When I left that hospital, I had a brand new old man walker, a mini-stroke diagnosis, physical therapy orders and my very first neurologist.

I did physical therapy, we moved to a one story apartment and I was able to return to work in a few months.
The next hospital visit wouldn’t be until the following March. I went in this time because my right side was numb.

In March 2003, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.

Being Kind

I really enjoy meeting new people and I try to
leave a memorably good impression.
It doesn’t have to be big, just being genuine speaks for itself.

I try to find a way to compliment and thank almost every person that provides a service to me. (cashier, server at the restaurant, uber driver, etc.)
I’ve seen a person’s “aura” change because of a genuinely kind moment.

We get so busy and go on auto-pilot, but when you give someone a compliment, it kinda sends a little pulse that catches their attention. They take a second to process it. Include a smile & you possibly just made their day.